Joke

This is a joke that I saw in something that we got from our Church....I thought it was funny, and thought that you might get a laugh out of it also!

Dear Child,
I am writing this to you slowly because I know that you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. This week I put a load of laundry in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't too bad here, it only rained twice last week. The first time it rained for three days, and the second time for four days.
Your Uncle Steve thought that the coat you wanted me to send you would be too heavy to mail, so we cut the buttons off and put them in the pockets, Hopefully you will find them and sew them back on. I am sorry that we had to do this and cause you extra work, but our financial woes are laying heavy upon us.
Things are tough all around. We got another bill from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes.
John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.
Your sister had a baby this morning! I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you are an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name her after me. She is going to call it Mom.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two other friends were in the back. Sadly, they drowned because they could not get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.


Love, Mom


P.S. I was going to send you some money, but the envelope was already sealed....sorry.