I don't know if I have ever shared my testimony on here or not. Anyways, I wrote it out September 25th, cause my Small Group leader asked me to share it with our Small Group Wednesday night, the 26th. So, I wrote it out, and then shared it at Youth Group with my Small Group. It's not only my testimony of how I got saved, but I also added where I am now, and how I got to the point I am today, in my walk with Christ. I hope you enjoy reading it! (oh, a couple times I say like last week or a couple weeks ago... Obviously I wrote this a couple weeks ago, so when it says that, it was more like a month or so ago.... but, whatever.) :)
I have had the amazing privilege of growing up in a Christian family for my entire life. I have gone to Church ever since I was born, and I have been taught from the Word of God from a very young age. I got saved at the age of just 4 years old. I don’t remember the date, I don’t remember the day of the week, I don’t remember the time (other than that it was at night right before bed time), I don’t remember who or what made me want to do it, or even what I said. All I know is that something inside my little heart, even though I was very young, wanted Jesus Christ to come and live inside my heart. Kneeling beside my bed, with the help of Mom, I said what is so often referred to as “the sinner’s prayer.” Being so young, it didn’t change or alter my life right away, in a huge way that I can remember, and it wasn’t until I was about 11 years old (the year 2006) when my sister Julianna asked Christ into her heart, that I really truly grasped what it meant to have Jesus living inside me. I wanted to know for sure that I was going to heaven when I died. So, on March 12th 2006 was when I “confirmed” my salvation, to have a date to remember and acknowledge my spiritual birthday. It was even later than this time, though, when I learned what it truly meant to live a poured out life for Christ (I am still learning even now, though, and don’t know even close to everything).
About a month after that, on April 16th, 2006, Easter Sunday, Susanna, Caleb and I got baptized. Sometime after that, I wrote about it in my Bible, and described it as “one of the best nights of my life.”
That was a long time ago, though, and I have come so far since then. I have gone through so much, and learned so much by reading God’s Word on a daily basis, studying the Scripture, memorizing verses, and reading insightful, and helpful books as well as going through many devotional books that have helped me in my pursuit of Christ.
The year 2011 was a tough year for me. No, it wasn’t all bad, but it was still tough. The separation of my parents, along with living at my Grandparents house for a while, as well as many other things, were what caused me to struggle so much. I sometimes failed to see God even in the small things of life, because I failed to look. God IS in each day, but we don’t always see Him, because we fail to look and fail to recognize Him. Although this time was tough, it was during that time that I learned what it meant to fully put my trust in God, and depend on Him for the strength I needed to get through the day. I learned and realized that He IS in control of my life, and I don’t need to worry or fret, because He has my future in His hands, and it‘s all planned out… I can let go of my life and let Him have full control! Also, during that time, I spent a lot of time with God. I learned that “In [his] presence is fulness of joy; at [his] right hand there are pleasures forevermore”, as it says in Psalm 16:11. John Piper once said: “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.” In spending more time with God, I got to know Him better, was able to draw closer to Him (James 4:8), and started striving to be more like Him each and every day. That makes me think of the song titled “Little by Little” by Olivia Collingsworth. It goes: “Just yesterday, I was so small… I’ve been learning new things as I grow. Some people say I’m getting so tall, where did the little kid go? Inside and out God is making me new, you may not see it happen until He is through. Sometimes it seems that I’m so far away, from all I want someday to be. But His Word says, that He’ll finish someday, all that He started in me. I look at me, and I don’t understand, but God has a vision, and God has a plan. Little by little, I’m changing, I’m growing. Little by little, I hope that it’s showing. I’m not who I’ll be, I’m not who I was, I’m somewhere in the middle; But, God is changing me, little by little.” Now, looking back at that year, even though it was a painful and trying time, I can see God’s hand at work in my life, and how He was using it for my good. Romans 8:28 says: And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
The year 2012, (so far, anyways) has been one of the best years of my life, for many different reasons. Not only were there many fun and exciting things I was able to do, new experiences I was able to have, and times of great joy, but there were also many times of serving, helping out, volunteering, babysitting during the summer, learning more about who God is, growing closer to Him, and just being able to be a blessing to other people, putting their needs above my own. That is truly what brings me the most joy, for it is when we put others needs above our own, and give to other people in need that we are truly blessed.♥ Proverbs 11:24-25, says: “There is that scattereth, and yet increaseth; and there is that withholdeth more than is meet, but it tendeth to poverty. The liberal soul shall be made fat: and he that watereth shall be watered also himself.” Luke 6:38, says: “Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.” Benjamin Franklin said: “Who pleasure gives, shall joy receive.”
There are many commands that God gives us in the Bible, but there is one that God has shown me over and over again this past year, and that is becoming crystal clear to me just now. That command is found in the simple words of Luke 9:23. “And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” (Italics added by me.)
Self-denial, Surrender, I must decrease, and die to self are phrases that became (and are still becoming) very dear to me… Words that God wants me to embrace as my own.
At the beginning of this year, I read something on a girl’s blog that I thought was very good, and I shared it on my own blog, as well. It said this:
For 2012...I have no resolutions other than...
to love a little deeper~
to stand a little taller~
to laugh a little louder~
to speak gently~
to give more profusely~
to live with reckless abandon~
to let faith grow stronger~
to smile in the face of adversity~
to wipe tears from weary faces~
to speak a little less~
to listen a little more~
to carry His burdens for this world~
to rock children to sleep~
to live for Him alone~
to point others to Him~
to radiate with His glory~
to pray more at His feet~
to dance a little freer~
to sing a little stronger~
to be an encouragement to those around me~
to die daily~
to surrender more freely~
to battle with more determination~
to give joy in all circumstances~
to love Him more.
~to be utterly transformed by His renewing grace~
evermore.
daily.
to be changed.
made stronger.
lift Him higher.
forget self.
abandon sin.
lay it all down,
nothing in my own strength
to know the truth
to draw closer
to Him
Daily.
~to see the beauty~
in the colors; taken for granted
in the rainbows that boast of a promise
in the laughter, that shows His heart
in the unknown path of the months to come
in the giving that holds nothing back
in the songs of birds
early spring rain
crisp autumn leaves
snow-capped mountains
desperate prayers
brokenness
surrender
but joy.
my journey home
~to learn to see...
the world with His compassion
to hope with absolute confidence
to serve with His kindness,
His gentleness,
His self-control,
His patience,
and to
abide in His peace
to learn a quiet heart
~to be still~
to radiate with an inner quiet grace
quiet grace
{All in all?}
To live a life that is not in vain.
Also, at about that time, we started up the meetings for the people going to Mexico in April, and we started going through the book “not a fan.” The main theme in that book was about denying yourself, taking up your cross daily, and following Him. In March, I started a book called “Experiencing God” the youth edition. It had Luke 9:23, as well as the call to deny self, and surrender your whole life to Christ, many times throughout. It was about that time that the “Surrender” series were started here in Youth Group. What were they about? Yes; Surrender, self-denial, and the like.
The words of the hymn “Turn your eyes upon Jesus” have become dear to me the past couple weeks, saying: Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.
Those simple yet profound words beckon us to die to self, surrender, and give up everything for the sake of knowing, and loving our dear Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. A couple weeks ago, Pastor Landon started the series on Colossians. Then, last week, he talked about God having the preeminence in your life. He asked if we were willing to give up other things, in order that God would have the first place in our lives. Since then (last Wednesday), this past week, I have seen or heard those words (either Self-denial, Die to self, Surrender) multiple times each and every day,. Whether in a book, an article in a online magazine I read, a sermon I listened to, someone posting it on Facebook, an email from a friend, a song, or anything else, God is clearly speaking to me. He wants me today to die to self, surrender, and give up everything my flesh desires, so that I may know, love, and serve Him better. And it’s not a one time decision. It’s something I have to decide to do on a day by day, moment by moment basis. Elisabeth Elliot said this: “One does not surrender a life in an instant. That which is lifelong can only be surrendered in a lifetime.” (The verse Luke 9:23 and the words I mentioned came up many more times as well, I just can’t think of the specific times right now.)
My greatest desire as I seek to be more like Christ, and desire to know Him more, is that others see His light shining through me. I want others to feel His presence when they are around me. I want others to be able to look at me, and see His glorious face-not mine. As Hannah Thomas said: Lord I wanna be like a glow stick: bend me and break me until your light shines through me. Isaiah 64:8 says: But now, O Lord, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand. May I be moldable, so that He may mold me into the person He created me to be-all for His honor and glory. No, I’m not perfect, although I never will be. I’m still learning, and I still have a long way to go. Hebrews 12:1-2 says: “Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
“I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am.” ~John Newton
