There Is None Upon Earth That I Desire Beside Him

Psalm 73:25-26,
"Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever."

Imagine if that were the cry of every heart who claimed to be a Christian? That it could be said of us that there was none upon earth that we desired beside Him? There are so many things in this world, vying for our attention, screaming out our name, begging us to take just a taste. They promise us satisfaction, everlasting joy and true happiness. But, then... there is a still, small voice that is mightier than the winds that break the rocks. It is the voice of my beloved. And, "My beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." (SOS 2:10)
The invitation that Jesus extends towards us, to come to Him does not end there. He then invites us to abide in Him. In John 15:4-5, Jesus says, "Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing." In Andrew Murray's book, "Abiding in Christ", he explains it this way: "Just as earnest and faithful , as loving and tender, as the compassion contained in the invitation to 'Come' was the grace that added a further invitation to 'Abide.' First coming to Him will give you but single drops to taste; it is only the abiding that can really satisfy the thirsty soul and enable you to drink of the rivers of pleasure that are at His right hand (Psalm 16:11; 36:8)." He goes on to say: "The truth is, there is nothing that moved you to come that does not plead with greater force: Abide in Him. You did well to come; you do better to abide. Who would be content, after seeking the King's palace, to stand in the door, when he is invited in to dwell in the King's presence, and share with Him in all the glory of His royal life? Let us enter in and abide, and enjoy fully all the rich supply His wondrous love has prepared for us!"
I have been slowly learning what it means to truly abide in Him. And the first step, is that, we must come to the end of ourself. For us to abide in Him, and Him in us, there should not even be a hint or a trace of self.
Imagine that you are dead. Exactly. You can't imagine it. Because, when you're dead, you're dead. You don't feel anything, and you aren't prone to what others might think or say of you. You don't care anymore; you're dead. That is how we are to think of ourselves, of our flesh, our wants and our desires. As completely dead. In Luke 9:23, Jesus says, "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me." It must be a daily, moment by moment process of denying ourself. I've heard it said that, "The biggest problem in the world, is when the big, "I, me, myself" is on the top." Being on the top is the exact opposite of the pattern laid out for us in the Scriptures. John 3:30 says, "He must increase, but I must decrease." He is so deserving of everything we are, and everything we have to give. Even if the whole realm of nature were mine...all the stars, all the planets, all the galaxies; the sun, the moon, every creature, animal, bird, reptile, rock; every grain of sand, blade of grass, droplet of water, and every snowflake; if every tree, every branch, every leaf, and every person on earth were mine... that were an offering far too small for the price He paid for me. He gave and spent His precious blood for the redemption of my sins. All that I would ever have to give would never be enough; it would pale in comparison to the life that He will give us when we give Him our life. Love, so amazing, so divine... demands my soul, my life, my all. Aw Tozer once prayed a prayer that went like this: "Father, I want to know Thee, but my coward heart fears to give up its toys. I cannot part with them without inward bleeding, and I do not try to hide from Thee the terror of the parting. I come trembling but I do come. Please root from my heart all those things which I have cherished so long and which have become a very part of my living self, so that Thou mayest enter and dwell there without a rival. Then shalt Thou make the place of Thy feet glorious. Then shall my heart have no need of the Sun to shine in it, for Thyself wilt be the light of it, and there shall be no night there. In Jesus' Name, Amen." Let's approach God in this same way.
Today, and every day for the rest of eternity may our lives reflect, and may we truly be able to say with Asaph the Psalmist, "Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee." (Psalm 73:25)

God's Goodness and His Mercies

Life. What is life? Life is a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Life is short no matter how long you live. So... If my life is so short, then, what on earth am I even here for? Who is life, and Who gives me life? Jesus says, "I am the way, the truth, the life." He says, "I am come that you might have life , and life more abundant." What exactly am I then to do with this life I have been so freely given?  "Take no thought for your life... what ye shall eat , or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on." "He that findeth his life shall lose it, and he that loses his life for the sake of Jesus shall find it." So, you're telling me that I must lose my life in order to truly find it? That brings me back to my question: what in the world am I really here for? In Mark 16:15, it says, "go ye into all the world, and preach the Gospel to every creature." Who, me? No way-not me... I am so weak, and completely unable. Jesus gently reminds me , "my grace is sufficient; my strength is made perfect in your weakness." Think about this for a minute with me. Jesus is the Author of life; He has given you your every breath. How are you using each breath that He gives you? Are you using it wisely? Are you using it for His glory? Is your life a clear demonstration of His character, His nature, His attributes, His life? Are you creating a clear representation of the Gospel with everyone you meet? Do people that know you but don't know Christ want to know Christ because they know you? How many times have we wasted our breath, stayed silent when we should have spoken up, or said something when we knew we should have remained silent? How many times have we been ashamed of the Gospel, and denied that we knew Christ, not necessarily by speaking words of denial, but just by the way we lived our lives, being disobedient to our Saviour and King? How many wasted opportunities have we missed, only because we were more concerned about our reputation than the soul of the person we were talking to? Jesus has made you strong. You may not always feel strong, however, you are alive; you are breathing. You are not lying on the floor literally unable to get up and walk. What are you doing with that strength that has so graciously been given to you? Are you pouring yourself out for the weak? Jesus has given you sight. Are you using that sight to be eyes for the blind? He's given you feet. Are you using those feet to be feet to the lame? He has given you the ability to speak; are you using your voice for those who have none? You were made strong to be poured out... And the more of His strength that you pour out into the weak, the more strength Christ gives you, only to be poured out again. It is only because of His mercy that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not; great is His faithfulness. The other day as I was walking to breakfast prep, I was reminded of this fact when I saw a little bunny rabbit. Ever since I started breakfast prep, which was about 12 or so weeks ago, I have seen the bunny rabbit almost every morning. Sometimes, it will run out in front of me, and sometimes it will be hiding... However I know it's there, I just have to look for it. That's how it is with the Lord's mercies. Sometimes, it runs out in front of you, and it's pretty hard to miss; other times, you can't always see it, but you know it's there, because His mercies are new every morning: you just have to look for them. :) in your lifetime, you only have so many breaths that you can breath, so many words that can be spoken. Once you have taken a breath or said a word, you cannot recover it. Don't waste one breath, one word. Take every opportunity that The Lord gives you to share your faith, and be bold in making the most of every chance you get. Do not be ashamed of the Gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that believeth. Don't waste your life. It is so short, no matter how long you live... Life is just like a vapor that appears for a little time and that vanishes away. "You have only one life that will soon be past, and only what's done for Christ will last."

-- 
While at Ellerslie, when we were volunteering for the 7-week advanced program, the advanced students all had to do a reflection on one of the weekends. Nathan asked some of the volunteers if they wanted to do one. Will and I were the only ones that did a reflection, but it was good. I really enjoyed hearing other peoples reflections, and hearing about what God had been showing them recently. If you didn't already guess, what I shared above was my reflection, which I did the last time that they had reflections. I thought it went well, and I wasn't too nervous, thanks to Jesus speaking through me :)

p.s. Sorry for the lack of posts in 2013...  I am hopefully going to try and do better and post more :) we'll see how it goes.

Giveaway!

Hey everyone!

Wow, I really haven't posted in a long time! I don't think I thought it had been that long! I hope to start posting some things again soon... But, for now, I just wanted to share about a giveaway that Kindred Grace is doing over on their blog. They are giving away a copy of a book called "The Quiet Place" by: Nancy Leigh DeMoss. You can go and enter for yourself, here: http://kindredgrace.com/the-quiet-place/

They are also doing their annual "March of books" where they review and give away books the whole month of March. So, there are also some other great giveaways that you should check in to, if you would like!!

"Mended", by: Angie Smith, http://kindredgrace.com/mended/

"Sacred Search", by: Gary Thomas, http://kindredgrace.com/sacred-search/

"She's Got Issues", by: Nicole Unice, http://kindredgrace.com/shes-got-issues/

So, what are you waiting for? Head on over there, and get entering (cause some of them end soon)!

I hope to talk to you all again soon!

Love, Karissa♥

P.S. Some of my memory verses for youth group:

James 2:10
For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.

1 Corinthians 3:7
So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase.

2 Corinthians 5:21
For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.

John 8:12
Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.

How Real Servants Act

I'm going through a book right now, called "The Purpose Driven Life." It is an excellent book, and I have learned a lot from it! There are 40 chapters, and I am on Day 33, which is called "How Real Servants Act." I loved it so much, that I wanted to share it with you all here on my blog. Oh, and this is my 100th post, and I thought it was a good one for that, as well! :)

The Purpose Driven Life: Day 33 | How Real Servants Act | 10/23/12

We serve God by serving others.
The world defines greatness in terms of power, possessions, prestige, and position. If you can demand service from others, you've arrived. In our self-serving culture with it's me-first mentality, acting like a servant is not a popular concept.
Jesus, however, measured greatness in terms of service, not status. God determines your greatness by how many people you serve, not how many people serve you. This is so contrary to the world's idea of greatness that we have a hard time understanding it, much less practicing it. The disciples argued about who deserved the most prominent position, and 2,000 years later, Christian leaders still jockey for position and prominence in churches, denominations, and parachurch ministries.
Thousands of books have been written on leadership, but few on servanthood. Everyone wants to lead; no one wants to be a servant.We would rather be generals than privates Even Christians want to be "servant-leaders," not just plain servants. But to be like Jesus is to be a servant. That's what He called Himself.
While knowing your shape is important for serving God, having the heart of a servant is even more important. Remember, God shaped you for service, not for self-centeredness. Without a servant's heart, you will be tempted to misuse your shape for personal gain. You will also be tempted to use it as an excuse to exempt yourself from meeting some needs.
God often tests our hearts by asking us to serve in ways we're not shaped. If you see a man fall into a ditch, God expects you to help him out, not say, "I don't have the gift of mercy or service." While you may not be gifted for a particular task, you may be called to do it if no one gifted at it is around. Your primary ministry should be in the area of your shape, but your secondary service is wherever you're needed at the moment.
Your shape reveals your ministry, but your servant's heart will reveal your maturity. No special talent or gift is required to stay after a meeting to pick up trash or stack chairs. Anyone can be a servant. All it requires is character.
It is possible to serve in church for a lifetime without ever being a servant. You must have a servant's heart. How can you know if you have the heart of a servant? Jesus said, "You can tell what they are by what they do." (Matthew 7:16, CEV)
*Real servants make themselves available to serve. Servants don't fill up their time with other pursuits that could limit their availability. They want to be ready to jump into service when called on. Much like a soldier, a servant must always be standing by for duty: "No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him." (2 Timothy 2:4, NASB) If you only serve when it's convenient for you, you're not a real servant. Real servants do what's needed, even when it's inconvenient.
Are you available to God anytime? Can He mess up your plans without you becoming resentful? As a servant, you don't get to pick and choose when or where you will serve. Being a servant means giving up the right to control your schedule and allowing God to interrupt it whenever He needs to.
If you will remind yourself at the start of every day that you are God's servant, interruptions won't frustrate you as much, because your agenda will be whatever God wants to bring into your life. Servants see interruptions as divine appointments for ministry and are happy for the opportunity to practice serving.
*Real servants pay attention to needs. Servants are always on the lookout for ways to help others. When they see a need, they seize the moment to meet it, just as the Bible commands us: "Whenever we have the opportunity, we have to do what is good for everyone, especially for the family of believers." (Galatians 6:10, GWT) When god puts someone in need right in front of you, He is giving you the opportunity to grow in servanthood. Notice that God says the needs of your church family are to be given preference, not put at the bottom of your "things to do " list.
We miss many occasions for serving because we lack sensitivity and spontaneity. Great opportunities to serve never last long. They pass quickly, sometimes never to return again. You may only get one chance to serve that person, so take advantage of the moment. "Never tell your neighbors to wait until tomorrow if you can help them now." (Proverbs 3:28, TEV)
John Wesley was an incredible servant of God His motto was "Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can." That is greatness. You can begin by looking for small tasks that no one else wants to do. Do these little things as if they were great things, because God is watching.
*Reals servants do their best with what they have.
Servants don't make excuses, procrastinate, or wait for better circumstances. Servants never say, "One of these days" or "When the time is right." They just do what needs to be done. The Bible says, "If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done." (Ecclesiastes 11:4, NLT) God expects you to do what you can, with what you have, wherever you are. Less-than-perfect service is always better than the best intention.
One reason many people never serve is that they fear they are not good enough to serve. They have believed the lie that serving God is only for superstars. Some churches have fostered this myth by making "excellence" an idol, which makes people of average talent hesitant to get involved.
You may have heard it said, "If it can't be done with excellence, don't do it." Well, Jesus never said that! The truth is, almost everything we do is done poorly when we first start doing it-that's how we learn.
*Real servants do every task with equal dedication. Whatever they do, servants "do it with all their heart." (Colossians 3:23) The size of the task is irrelevant. The only issue is, does it need to be done?
You will never arrive at the state in life where you're too important to help with menial tasks. God will never exempt you from the mundane. It's a vital part of your character curriculum. The Bible says, "If you think you are too important to help someone in need, you are only fooling yourself. You are really a nobody." (Galatians 6:3, NLT) It is in these small services that we grow like Christ.
Jesus specialized in menial tasks that everyone else tried to avoid: washing feet, helping children, fixing breakfast, and serving lepers. Nothing was beneath Him, because He came to serve. It wasn't in spite of His greatness that He did these things, but because of it, and He expects us to follow His example. (John 13:15)
Small tasks often show a big heart. Your servant's heart is revealed in little acts that others don't think of doing, as when Paul gathered brushwood for a fire to warm everyone shipwreck. (Acts 28:3) He was just as exhausted as everyone else, but He did what everyone needed. No task is beneath you when have a servant's heart.
Great opportunities often disguise  themselves in small tasks. The little things in life determine the big things. Don't look for great tasks to do for God. Just do the not-so-great stuff, and God will assign you whatever He wants you to do. But before attempting the extraordinary, try serving in ordinary ways. (Luke 16:10-12)
There will always be more people willing to do "great" things for God than there are people willing to do the little things. The race to be a leader is crowded, but the field is wide open for those willing to be servants. Sometimes you serve upward to those in authority, and sometimes you serve downward to those in need. Either way, you develop a servant's heart when you're willing to do anything needed.
*Real servants are faithful to their ministry. Servants finish their tasks, fulfill their responsibilities, keep their promises, and complete their commitments. They don't leave a job half undone, and they don't quit when they get discouraged. They are trustworthy and dependable.
Faithfulness has always been a rare quality. (Psalm 12:1; Proverbs 20:6; Philippians 2:19-22) Most people don't know the meaning of commitment. They make commitments casually, then break them for the slightest reason without any hesitation, remorse, or regret. Every week, churches and other organizations must improvise because volunteers didn't prepare, didn't show up, or didn't even call to say they weren't coming.
Can you be counted on by others? Are there promises you need to keep, vows you need to fulfill, or commitments you need to honor? This is a test. God is testing your faithfulness. If you pass the test, you're in good company: Abraham, Moses, Samuel, David, Daniel, Timothy, and Paul were all called faithful servants of God. Even better, God has promised to reward your faithfulness in eternity. Imagine what it will feel like one day to have God say to you, "Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let's celebrate together!" (Matthew 25:23, NLT)
By the way, faithful servants never retire. They serve faithfully as long as they're alive. You can retire from your career, but you will never retire from serving God.
*Real servants maintain a low profile. Servants don't promote or call attention to themselves. Instead of acting to impress and dressing for success, they "put on the apron of humility, to serve one another." (1 Peter 5:5, TEV) If recognized for their service, they humbly accept it but don't allow notoriety to distract them from their work.
Paul exposed a kind of service that appears to be spiritual but is really just a put-on, a show, an act to get attention. He called it "eyeservice" (Ephesians 6:6, KJV; Colossians 3:22, KJV)-serving in order to impress people with how spiritual we are. This was a sin of the Pharisees. They turned helping others, giving, and even prayer into a performance for others. Jesus hated this attitude and warned, "When you do good deeds, don't try to show off. If you do, you won't get a reward from your Father in heaven." (Matthew 6:1, CEV)
Self-promotion and servanthood don't mix. Real servants don't serve for the approval or applause of others. They live for an audience of One. As Paul said, "If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." (Galatians 1:10, NIV)
You won't find many real servants in the limelight; in fact, they avoid it when possible. They are content with quietly serving in the shadows. Joseph is a great example. He didn't draw attention to himself, but quietly served Potiphar, then his jailer, then Pharaoh's baker and wine taster, and God blessed that attitude. When Pharaoh promoted him to prominence, Joseph still maintained a servant's heart, even with his brothers, who had betrayed him.
Unfortunately, many leaders today start off as servants but end up as celebrities. They become addicted to attention, unaware that being in the spotlight blinds you.
You may be serving in obscurity in some some small place, feeling unknown and unappreciated. Listen: God put you where you are for a purpose! He has every hair on your head numbered, and He knows your address. You had better stay put until He chooses to move you. He will let you know if He wants you somewhere else. Your ministry matter to the kingdom of God. "When Christ...shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too-the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity." (Colossians 3:4, Msg.)
There are more than 750 "Halls of Fame" in America and more than 450 "Who's Who" publications, but you won't find many real servants in these places. Notoriety means nothing to real servants because they know the difference between prominence and significance. You have several prominent features on your body that you could live without. It is the hidden parts of your body that are indispensable. The same is true in the Body of Christ. The most significant service is often the service that is unseen. (1 Corinthians 12:22-24)
In heaven, God is going to  openly reward some of His most obscure and unknown servants-people we have never heard of on earth, who taught emotionally disturbed children, cleaned up after incontinent elderly, nursed AIDS patients, and served in thousands of other unnoticed ways.
Knowing this, don't be discouraged when your service is unnoticed or taken for granted. Keep on serving God! "Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for him is a waste of time or effort." (1 Corinthians 15:58, Msg.) Even the smallest service is noticed by God and will be rewarded. Remember the words of Jesus: "If, as my representatives, you give even a cup of cold water to a little child, you will surely be rewarded." (Matthew 10:42, LB)

Day Thirty-Three: Thinking About My Purpose.
*Point to Ponder. I serve God by serving others
*Verse to Remember: "If you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded." Matthew 10:42 (NLT)
*Question to Consider: Which of the six characteristics of real servants offers the greatest challenge to me?

My Testimony ♥

I don't know if I have ever shared my testimony on here or not. Anyways, I wrote it out September 25th, cause my Small Group leader asked me to share it with our Small Group Wednesday night, the 26th. So, I wrote it out, and then shared it at Youth Group with my Small Group. It's not only my testimony of how I got saved, but I also added where I am now, and how I got to the point I am today, in my walk with Christ. I hope you enjoy reading it! (oh, a couple times I say like last week or a couple weeks ago... Obviously I wrote this a couple weeks ago, so when it says that, it was more like a month or so ago.... but, whatever.) :)

I have had the amazing privilege of growing up in a Christian family for my entire life. I have gone to Church ever since I was born, and I have been taught from the Word of God from a very young age. I got saved at the age of just 4 years old. I don’t remember the date, I don’t remember the day of the week, I don’t remember the time (other than that it was at night right before bed time), I don’t remember who or what made me want to do it, or even what I said. All I know is that something inside my little heart, even though I was very young, wanted Jesus Christ to come and live inside my heart. Kneeling beside my bed, with the help of Mom, I said what is so often referred to as “the sinner’s prayer.” Being so young, it didn’t change or alter my life right away, in a huge way that I can remember, and it wasn’t until I was about 11 years old (the year 2006) when my sister Julianna asked Christ into her heart, that I really truly grasped what it meant to have Jesus living inside me. I wanted to know for sure that I was going to heaven when I died. So, on March 12th 2006 was when I “confirmed” my salvation, to have a date to remember and acknowledge my spiritual birthday. It was even later than this time, though, when I learned what it truly meant to live a poured out life for Christ (I am still learning even now, though, and don’t know even close to everything).
About a month after that, on April 16th, 2006, Easter Sunday, Susanna, Caleb and I got baptized. Sometime after that, I wrote about it in my Bible, and described it as “one of the best nights of my life.”
That was a long time ago, though, and I have come so far since then. I have gone through so much, and learned so much by reading God’s Word on a daily basis, studying the Scripture, memorizing verses, and reading insightful, and helpful books as well as going through many devotional books that have helped me in my pursuit of Christ.
The year 2011 was a tough year for me. No, it wasn’t all bad, but it was still tough. The separation of my parents, along with living at my Grandparents house for a while, as well as many other things, were what caused me to struggle so much. I sometimes failed to see God even in the small things of life, because I failed to look. God IS in each day, but we don’t always see Him, because we fail to look and fail to recognize Him. Although this time was tough, it was during that time that I learned what it meant to fully put my trust in God, and depend on Him for the strength I needed to get through the day. I learned and realized that He IS in control of my life, and I don’t need to worry or fret, because He has my future in His hands, and it‘s all planned out… I can let go of my life and let Him have full control! Also, during that time, I spent a lot of time with God. I learned that “In [his] presence is fulness of joy; at [his] right hand there are pleasures forevermore”, as it says in Psalm 16:11. John Piper once said: “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.” In spending more time with God, I got to know Him better, was able to draw closer to Him (James 4:8), and started striving to be more like Him each and every day. That makes me think of the song titled “Little by Little” by Olivia Collingsworth. It goes: “Just yesterday, I was so small… I’ve been learning new things as I grow. Some people say I’m getting so tall, where did the little kid go? Inside and out God is making me new, you may not see it happen until He is through. Sometimes it seems that I’m so far away, from all I want someday to be. But His Word says, that He’ll finish someday, all that He started in me. I look at me, and I don’t understand, but God has a vision, and God has a plan. Little by little, I’m changing, I’m growing. Little by little, I hope that it’s showing. I’m not who I’ll be, I’m not who I was, I’m somewhere in the middle; But, God is changing me, little by little.” Now, looking back at that year, even though it was a painful and trying time, I can see God’s hand at work in my life, and how He was using it for my good. Romans 8:28 says: And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
The year 2012, (so far, anyways) has been one of the best years of my life, for many different reasons. Not only were there many fun and exciting things I was able to do, new experiences I was able to have, and times of great joy, but there were also many times of serving, helping out, volunteering, babysitting during the summer, learning more about who God is, growing closer to Him, and just being able to be a blessing to other people, putting their needs above my own. That is truly what brings me the most joy, for it is when we put others needs above our own, and give to other people in need that we are truly blessed.♥ Proverbs 11:24-25, says: “There is that scattereth, and yet increaseth; and there is that withholdeth more than is meet, but it tendeth to poverty. The liberal soul shall be made fat: and he that watereth shall be watered also himself.” Luke 6:38, says: “Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.” Benjamin Franklin said: “Who pleasure gives, shall joy receive.”
There are many commands that God gives us in the Bible, but there is one that God has shown me over and over again this past year, and that is becoming crystal clear to me just now. That command is found in the simple words of Luke 9:23. “And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” (Italics added by me.)
Self-denial, Surrender, I must decrease, and die to self are phrases that became (and are still becoming) very dear to me… Words that God wants me to embrace as my own.
At the beginning of this year, I read something on a girl’s blog that I thought was very good, and I shared it on my own blog, as well. It said this:

For 2012...I have no resolutions other than...
to love a little deeper~
to stand a little taller~
to laugh a little louder~
to speak gently~
to give more profusely~
to live with reckless abandon~
to let faith grow stronger~
to smile in the face of adversity~
to wipe tears from weary faces~
to speak a little less~
to listen a little more~
to carry His burdens for this world~
to rock children to sleep~
to live for Him alone~
to point others to Him~
to radiate with His glory~
to pray more at His feet~
to dance a little freer~
to sing a little stronger~
to be an encouragement to those around me~
to die daily~
to surrender more freely~
to battle with more determination~
to give joy in all circumstances~
to love Him more.

~to be utterly transformed by His renewing grace~
evermore.
daily.
to be changed.
made stronger.
lift Him higher.
forget self.
abandon sin.
lay it all down,
nothing in my own strength
to know the truth
to draw closer
to Him
Daily.
~to see the beauty~
in the colors; taken for granted
in the rainbows that boast of a promise
in the laughter, that shows His heart
in the unknown path of the months to come
in the giving that holds nothing back
in the songs of birds
early spring rain
crisp autumn leaves
snow-capped mountains
desperate prayers
brokenness
surrender
but joy.
my journey home

~to learn to see...
the world with His compassion
to hope with absolute confidence
to serve with His kindness,
His gentleness,
His self-control,
His patience,
and to
abide in His peace
to learn a quiet heart
~to be still~
to radiate with an inner quiet grace
quiet grace
{All in all?}
To live a life that is not in vain.

Also, at about that time, we started up the meetings for the people going to Mexico in April, and we started going through the book “not a fan.” The main theme in that book was about denying yourself, taking up your cross daily, and following Him. In March, I started a book called “Experiencing God” the youth edition. It had Luke 9:23, as well as the call to deny self, and surrender your whole life to Christ, many times throughout. It was about that time that the “Surrender” series were started here in Youth Group. What were they about? Yes; Surrender, self-denial, and the like.
The words of the hymn “Turn your eyes upon Jesus” have become dear to me the past couple weeks, saying: Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.
Those simple yet profound words beckon us to die to self, surrender, and give up everything for the sake of knowing, and loving our dear Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. A couple weeks ago, Pastor Landon started the series on Colossians. Then, last week, he talked about God having the preeminence in your life. He asked if we were willing to give up other things, in order that God would have the first place in our lives. Since then (last Wednesday), this past week, I have seen or heard those words (either Self-denial, Die to self, Surrender) multiple times each and every day,. Whether in a book, an article in a online magazine I read, a sermon I listened to, someone posting it on Facebook, an email from a friend, a song, or anything else, God is clearly speaking to me. He wants me today to die to self, surrender, and give up everything my flesh desires, so that I may know, love, and serve Him better. And it’s not a one time decision. It’s something I have to decide to do on a day by day, moment by moment basis. Elisabeth Elliot said this: “One does not surrender a life in an instant. That which is lifelong can only be surrendered in a lifetime.” (The verse Luke 9:23 and the words I mentioned came up many more times as well, I just can’t think of the specific times right now.)
My greatest desire as I seek to be more like Christ, and desire to know Him more, is that others see His light shining through me. I want others to feel His presence when they are around me. I want others to be able to look at me, and see His glorious face-not mine. As Hannah Thomas said: Lord I wanna be like a glow stick: bend me and break me until your light shines through me. Isaiah 64:8 says: But now, O Lord, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand. May I be moldable, so that He may mold me into the person He created me to be-all for His honor and glory. No, I’m not perfect, although I never will be. I’m still learning, and I still have a long way to go. Hebrews 12:1-2 says: “Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
“I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am.” ~John Newton

Kisses From Katie: Introduction

I never meant to be a mother. I mean, I guess I did; not right now, though. Not before I was married. Not when I was nineteen. Not to so, so many little people. Thankfully, God's plans do not seem to be affected much by my own.
I never meant to live in Uganda, a dot on the map in East Africa, on the opposite side of the planet from my family and all that is comfortable and familiar. Thankfully, God's plans also happen to be much better than my own.
You see, Jesus wrecked my life. For as long as I could remember, I had everything this world says is important. In high school, I was class president, homecoming queen, top of my class. I dated cute boys and wore cute shoes and drove a cute sports car. I had wonderful, supportive parents who so desired my success that they would have paid for me to go to college anywhere my heart desired. But I loved Jesus.
And the fact that I loved Jesus was beginning to interfere with the plans I once had for my life and certainly with the plans others had for me. My heart had been apprehended by a great love, a love that compelled me to live differently. I had grown up in a Christian home, gone to church, and learned about Jesus all my life. Around the age of twelve or thirteen, I began to delve into the truths of Scripture. As I read and learned more and more of what Jesus said, I liked the life-style I saw around me less and less. I began to realize that God wanted more from me, and I wanted more of Him. He began to grow in me a desire to live intentionally, and different from anyone I had ever known.
Slowly but surely I began to realize the truth: I had loved and admired and worshiped Jesus without doing what He said. This recognition didn't happen overnight: in fact I believe it was happening in my heart long before I even knew it. It was happening as I explored the possibility of overseas volunteer work, it was happening as I took my first three-week trip to Uganda, it was happening as I fell in love with a beautiful country full of gracious, joyful people and immense poverty and squalor that begged me to do more. It was happening in so many ways, and I couldn't deny it. I wanted to actually do what Jesus said to do.
So I quit my life.
Originally, my quitting was to be temporary, lasting just one year before I went to college and returned to normal, American teenager life. But after that year, which I spent in Uganda, returning to "normal" wasn't possible. I had seen what life was about and I could not pretend I didn't know. So I quit my life again, and for good this time, I quite college; I quit cute designer clothes and little yellow convertible; I quit my boyfriend. I no longer have all the things the world says are important. I do not have a retirement fund; I do not even have electricity some days. But I have everything I know is important. I have a joy and a peace that are unimaginable and can come only from a place better than this earth, I cannot fathom being happier. Jesus wrecked my life, shattered it to pieces, and put it back together more beautifully.
During the first few months I lived in Uganda, in fall of 2007, I wrote, "Sometimes working in a Third World country makes me feel like I am emptying the ocean with an eyedropper." Today, it often still feel s that way. I have learned to be okay with the feeling because I have learned that I will not change the world. Jesus will do that. I can, however, change the world for one person. I can change the world for fourteen little girls and for four hundred schoolchildren and for a sick and dying grandmother and for a malnourished, neglected, abused five-year-old. And if one person sees the love of Christ in me, it is worth every minute. In fact, it is worth spending my life for.
Many days, I am still overwhelmed by the magnitude of the need and the incredible number of people who need help. Many days I see the destitute, disease-ridden children lining the streets in the communities I serve and I want to scoop up every single one of them, take them home with me, and feed and clothe and love them. And I look at the life of my Savior, who stopped for one.
So I keep stopping and loving one person at a time. Because this is my call as a Christian. I can do only what one woman can do, but I will do what I can do. Daily, the Jesus who wrecked my life enables me to do so much more than I ever thought possible. People often ask if I think my life is dangerous, if I am afraid. I am much more afraid of remaining comfortable. Matthew 10:28 tells us not to fear things that can destroy the body but things that can destroy the soul. I am surrounded by things that can destroy the body. I interact almost daily with people who have deadly diseases, and many times I am the only person who can help them. I live in a country with one of the world's longest-running wars taking place just a few hours away. Uncertainty is everywhere. But I am living in the midst of the uncertainty and risk, amid things that can and do bring physical destruction, because I am running from things that can destroy my soul: complacency, comfort,  and ignorance. I am much more terrified of living a comfortable life in a self-serving society and failing to follow Jesus than I am of any illness or tragedy.
Jesus called His followers to be a lot of things, but I have yet to find where He warned us to be safe. We are not called to be safe, we are simply promised that when we are in danger, God is right there with us. And there is no better place to be than in His hands.
For as long as I can remember, one of my favorite Bible verses has been Psalm 37:4: "Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart." I used to believe it meant that if I did what the Lord asked of me, followed His commandments, and was a "good girl," He would grant all my desires and make my dreams come true. Today, this is still one of my favorite passages of Scripture, but I have learned to interpret it in a totally different way. It is not about God making my dreams come true but about God changing my dreams into His dreams for my life.
Today I am living the desires of my heart and I cannot imagine living any other life than the one that unfolds before me day by day. But believe me, I am by no means living my  plan. I thought that I wanted to go to college with my high school boyfriend, get married, have a successful career and children, settle into a nice house down the road from my parents, and live happily ever after. Today I am a single woman raising a houseful of girls and trying to teach others the love of Jesus in a land that is a far cry from my hometown and my culture. This is not a life that I dreamed up on my own or even knew I had desired. I am watching God work, and as I "delight myself in the Lord" by doing what He asks of me and by saying yes to the needs He places in front of me, He is changing the desires of my heart and aligning them with the desires of His. As I go with Him to the hard places, He changes them into the most joyful places I could imagine.
It sounds beautiful, adventurous, even romantic in ways, right? It is beautiful. And the crazy thing is, it is so simple. Don't misunderstand; it is not easy. But it is simple in that each and every one of us was ultimately created to do the same thing. It will not look the same. It may take place in a foreign land or it may take place in your backyard, but I believe that we were each created to change the world for someone. To serve someone. To love someone the way Christ first loved us, to spread His light. This is the dream, and it is possible. Some days it is excruciatingly difficult, but the blessings far outweigh the hardships.
I have absolutely no desire to write a book about myself. this is a book about Christ. This is a book about a Christ who is alive today and not only knows but cares about every hair on my head. Yours too. I cannot really even pretend to fathom that, but I know it is true. I know this is true because I have seen it so profoundly in the very short amount of life that I have lived. I have seen it in extraordinary  miracles and in moments so mundane that they are easily overlooked. And that is why I am writing this book. I am writing on the chance that a glimpse into the life of my family and me, full of my stupidity and God's grace, will remind you of this living, loving Christ, and what it means to serve Him. I am writing with the hope that as you cry and laugh with my family you will be encouraged that God still uses flawed human beings to change the world. And if He can use me, He can use you.

(This is an amazing video, you should definitely take the time to watch it. You won't regret it! I absolutely LOVE what she says at 2:30! SO amazing, and true!)



So, pretty much when I read that introduction of the book, I was like wow! I already love this book. And as I've been reading it each night (I'm now on chapter 6), I can see that what she said in the introduction was true. It's not a book about her. It's a book about Christ. I loved the part about Psalm 37:4. If you remembered my story about Mexico, that was a huge verse for me around that time, and I just love what she said about it, cause that's what I had to learn about it, too!
 I can so totally see myself being Katie Davis someday in the future... Doing something like she's doing. I sometimes wish I could hop on a plane right now, and go to wherever God lead me to go, and just serve... Be His hands and feet to the hurting and broken people in this world. And although, I may do that someday, right now I feel called to serve the people that surround me each and everyday, each and every week. I feel like I need to be faithful in the small things right now that God has given me to do. If I'm not faithful in those things (things like getting to bed on time, getting up at a reasonable hour, so as to have time to spend time with Jesus), then what makes me think God is going to give me a bigger task in the future? If I'm not even willing to be where He wants me to be, and do what He wants me to be now, how can I expect Him to send me somewhere different in the future? Luke 19:17 says, "And he said unto him, Well, thou good servant: because thou hast been faithful in a very little, have thou authority over ten cities." That's what I need to focus on right now, so that I will be prepared for whatever God calls me to do in the future! (:

Mexico Missions Trip April 2012

Okay, so here goes about my Mexico Missions trip in April 2012! A couple of the pictures are a little bit messed up, I was getting very annoyed at them, for they were not cooperating, and decided to just leave them how they were, seens how they were being very stubborn and pigheaded! :P I also wanted to write captions, but that just wasn't going to work either. :P Oh well. Hopefully you will enjoy seeing some of the pictures anyways, and maybe I'll do some more another time, or have a video up. We'll see! :) Here goes...

For those of you who prayed or thought of my sister and I while we were on this trip... I greatly appreciate it, and it means a lot. So, I want to tell you guys all about it! So, I'm going to go through each day, and tell you what we did that day (maybe not every little detail, but you know...yeah!). First I want to say something real quick. As some of you probably know, I never had a Facebook... I never really cared for one, wanted one, whatever (not that there wasn't ever a time where I thought it would be neat to stay in contact with some friends, but you know what I mean). I felt like there was so many things that were not really good, and I knew how time consuming it was, etc. I think that many people use it in a stupid way, and post bad things. I knew that it could be used in a good way, and I had seen good things come out of it, but I still didn't ever get one. Well, when we came back from Mexico, my sister and I thought it would be really neat to be able to stay in contact with some of the girls (as well as other people) that we had met down there. We talked about it a lot, and it wasn't just a quick decision. When I prayed about it, what I felt God say to me was "Keep yourself pure, and manage your time wisely." So, we both got one. We have been able to find some of the girls we met, and I actually talked to one of the girls (my "buddy" from one of the days, which I will tell you more about later) on chat about a week or so ago. It was so neat to be able to do that (even though I had to use google translate, so I hope I was saying everything correctly. :)) When I saw she was on, I said, Hola Madizzon! :) And she said olaaaaaaaaaa :) kmo estas k sorpresa. Then we said a couple more things, and I told her that I was going to put the pictures of her and me on FB. She was like siiiii!! So, I did. And she commented on one of them and said, yo iagual kmo olvidarte. When I looked it up on Google Translate, it said something about forgetting. I didn't know what it meant, so I said, olvidar, por que? (Forget, why?) And she said, jamas te olvidare. When I looked it up on Google Translate, it said, "Never forget you." I was so touched by that! It almost made me cry! I was so happy. :) I asked her if she liked the pictures, and she said she did, very much. :) So, anyways, I'm sorry for going on and on, but I wanted to share that with you, cause I loved that!! :) And, I don't know if you could tell, but I miss Mexico sooo much! I want to go back there (and I will say more about that later, as well.) :) I've also talked to Madizzon again, and one of the other girls, Lesli. :)

So, we stayed at the Church on Friday night, like I had told you we were going to. The girls were going to try and do an all-nighter, but they finally fell asleep between 1:30-2:00. For me, however, it was a different story. I wasn't able to fall asleep, at all, and all I wanted was to get up and leave! :) It was the longest night of my life. It did, however, finally end, and we got up around 4:30, ate some breakfast and left at around 4:45 in the big bus, headed to the airport. :) When we got there, we went through security, and did all the other stuff you normally do when you fly (this was my first time doing all this, so it was a whole new experience for me). We had to wait for a little bit before getting on the plane, but not too long. Then we boarded, and were off. I slept for a while, as this was a pretty long flight. We landed in Dallas Fortworth around lunch time. Our layover was a couple hours, so we ate lunch at McDonalds, and walked around before flying again. The second flight to Monterrey, was not as long (only about 1 hour and 15 minutes).  

When we landed, and passed all that we needed to, we found Lonnie, (my Youth Pastor's brother, who works with Back2Back and the people that were with him ), and headed to the campus in a big bus (coming out of that airport, it was SOOO hot. It was crazy)! When we got there, it was about time to eat, so we unpacked, ate, and then met together as a team (in the "Palapa"), with Hope (who we would be "debriefing" with each night), and talked about what we would be doing that week, what were our biggest fears, what we hoped to accomplish, got our devotion booklets, signed up for "kitchen duty", as well as a couple other things. We then just hung out that night (some people played basketball, swam, or just hung out and talked), and went to bed. [there were also 3 ladies from Ohio, and another guy from Ohio that joined us, as well on the trip... Back2Back just hooked them up with our group, since they were only individual people who wanted to come, but it would be a better price, and more worth it to the Back2Back staff if they came with a group. The ladies were really nice, and I'm glad we got to meet them, and serve alongside them!]

       

Sunday morning we ate breakfast, had our devotions, and small group time, and then had a tour of the Back2Back campus. We then got on the bus, and traveled to one of the children's homes about an hour away for a Church service, and some work projects (every morning, we left the campus at about 10:00, got on a bus, and traveled to where we were going, which was between 45 minutes and an hour away). When we got there, all the kids came running up to the bus. They were right there, ready to greet us as we stepped off the bus, shake our hands and say "Hola." It was so cute. So, we had a Church service, which consisted of some preaching and music (the kids sang a song in Spanish for us, and then we sang Mighty to Save to them in English. At one point, the people there were singing "Here I am to Worship", and they were singing it in Spanish, and we started to sing it in English. It was the coolest thing ever, it was so neat! Even though we were both singing in a different language, we were both praising, and bringing glory to the same God, our Creator, and He understands every word! That was amazing!) After the service, we ate lunch outside, while the kids ate lunch inside. (every day we pretty much had the same thing for lunch; Ham and cheese or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, chips, Oreos, and apples, which those who were signed up for "lunch crew" would make in the morning, as well as pack everything we would need). At some point during lunch, the kids were coming out, offering us some of there food, and persisting that we take it (they REALLY wanted to share with us). One girl took me inside and got me some tacos (that were REALLY good). One of the staff members then shared a little bit about that children's house with us, and then some people painted while others played with the kids. (I didn't paint that day, but played uno with a couple of the girls, Lala, and Lupita, and talked with a couple of the older girls). A couple of the girls from our team, knew some spanish, so they were able to translate a little bit for us, but you know what? Playing uno... even though we spoke a different language, and couldn't really understand each other... It wasn't that much of a barrier. I felt like we were able to communicate... We laughed, and just had so much fun! So, before we left, they had some Mexican candy, that they all wanted us to try... It was different, but some of it was good. We then left, and headed back to the campus. Each night, we pretty much did the same things (we ate, then had "debrief" time, then played basketball, soccer, or something like that, swam, hungout, talked, and then went to bed). During the "debrief" time, we would all tell our "picture of the day" (something that stuck out to us, and that we always wanted to remember), hear our schedule for the next day, and a couple other things. Also, Sunday night, we planned some things for my sister's 18th birthday (which was Monday). We decorated the kitchen, and made some cards and stuff.

                                                

So, Monday morning, we all sang Happy Birthday, and told Susanna something that we were thankful for about her. Then we ate breakfast, had devotion and small-group time, and then headed out in the big bus (that's what we did every morning). When we got to the children's home, we split up into a couple groups, some of which would go and work on building a chicken coop, and some that would cut and stack wood. After that, we ate lunch with some of the kids, and then again split up into a couple groups, some of which would do some more work, while the others would go on the ropes course. We only had time to do one rope, but that's okay, it was cool. I wasn't sure I wanted to do it, but was glad I did. What it was, is you would get in a "harness", be clipped to a rope, climb up the tree, and jump off a small platform, and try to grab onto the "trapeze" above your head (the rope was behind you, instead of in front of you, which would usually be normal for something like that. So, when you jumped, you couldn't hold onto the rope). So, that one was called the leap of faith. It was likened to our life... Sometimes you feel like you want to take control, and feel like you want to help God (Grab the rope), but you must let go, and take the leap of faith (jump!), trusting that He knows what's best for you, and will lead you in the right places (trust that the rope will catch you and you won't fall). That was really cool. So, then, we did some jump roping with the kids, before the guys went and played soccer with some of the boys, and the girls made bracelets with the girls. Some little boys were there too, and were playing with this bubble stuff (that one of the ladies had brought), that I'm not sure what it is, but they all loved it! :) One of the girls there, Michelle, seemed like she was really sad, and she didn't really smile that much. So when we left, I asked Lonnie if I could give her a heart rock (a guy we know from around here where we live, makes them, and he gave me about 25, and told me to give them out... to people that I thought it would mean a lot to them; they have a cross carved into them), and he said I could. I went up to here, and gave it to her, and she smiled, and said thank you. I hugged her, and said "adios, Amigo!" I thought it was really neat, and that was my picture of the day. :) So, then we left, and headed back to the campus. :) (and did the normal stuff we did each night). One of the nights, I'm not sure which one, one of the Hope program parents (which you can probably read more about online somewhere), and his kids came and shared some stuff with us, and asked us some questions. Also, one of the nights Beth Guckenberger (the lady who started Back2Back) shared with us.

 

Tuesday morning. (we're moving right along here) :) We did the normal morning routine, and headed out to what they call the "Rio 3" (people from Back2Back are the only one's that call it that... if you were to ask for directions to the Rio 3, no one would know what you were talking about). Rio 3 is a ministry area of service by Back2Back Mexico. It is a community, that is very impoverished. A while ago, there was some sort of storm, and all the houses and everything were wiped out completely, and had to be rebuilt. It was really sad to go there, and see all the houses that were basically built out of whatever the people could find (and it also smelled bad down near the river), and yet it was very humbling to see the people/kids, and how happy and giving they were, even with so little, and living in such conditions as they were! So, after the "tour" and hearing a little bit more about it, we came back to the Church (that Back2Back has provided...they are still working on it; we did some work on it, as well), and ate lunch. Then we served some of the kids lunch that had just came out of school (they have a school right there, as well). We then sat with them, and just interacted with them while they ate. Then Mimi (one of the girls from our group) shared her testimony, and Cameron, (one of  the guys from our group) shared the gospel using a wordless bracelet (Black, Red, White, Green and Yellow), and then we passed out the bracelets (they had made a bunch at Snow Camp in January). Of course the kids loved getting those! We then did some activities with them (singing, then painting nails, coloring, blowing bubbles, making bracelets, legos, soccer, etc.), while some of the others from our group did some painting in the Church. Then we went out to serve some food to the people of the community. They had some plates made up, and we took them out on trays, and went from door to door knocking on them, passing out food and water until it was all gone. When we got back, it was pretty much time to leave, I think. I have one story I want to share from this day that was so cute! When we were doing the songs, we were all in a big circle, and at one point, I was next to a small little girl. I got down on my knees, so I could be level with her, and when I did, she got down on her knees too! I almost laughed. It was sooo cute, and something I will remember in my memory forever! Also, all the kids loved taking my camera and taking pictures! They were all so adorable (and then they liked to look at the pictures they took). :) So then we said our goodbyes, and headed out. As we were leaving, I looked out the window, and one of the little girls, Kimberly, was waving. I was almost in tears! She had a huge smile on her face, and I think she was just so grateful that we took time to come and be with her, and I believe she had a great time (I took a picture of her waving, that you will see sometime). Oh, how I miss those kids! :) So, then we went to a restaurant called Ell Pollo Loco. It was very yummy! Then we headed home and did the usual "nightly routine". :)

 
 

Wednesday was basically just a work day. So, it was at one of the children's homes that they are still working on (but none of the kids live there yet). When we got there, we ate lunch, and then headed to work, for pretty much the rest of the day. This was a hard day of work! Some of us were doing cement (shoveling dirt into the mixer [not hand-mixer though :b], carrying water over to it, dumping it in, putting it in the wheelbarrows, and wheeling it all they way around to the other side of the wall to where the guys were making the sidewalk), and some of us were painting, but it was some intense heat! One of the hottest days we were there, probably between 90-100 degrees. We drank a LOT of water that day. That's pretty much it for that day. That night we got to eat dinner over at Lonnie's and Angela's house (our Youth Pastor's brother, and his wife).

Merrimack Valley Baptist Church

Thursday was, sadly, our last day here. We were going to be taking a field trip with the kids that we had seen on Sunday. We were each going to be assigned a buddy, and that's who we would stick around with, and "be in charge of" all day. We went to the home we had gone to on Sunday to pick up some of the kids. So, some people got their buddies (the kids could pick who they wanted to go with, so when we got there, they were all lined up, and when they were told, went to who they wanted). No one specific came to me (I think mainly because I was in the back), but one of the staff hooked me up with a girl named Madizzon (the one I was telling you about earlier, that I talked to on Facebook). She was 14, so she didn't need as much  "watchful guidance" as maybe some of the other kids did, so I wasn't with her ALL day, cause she went with her friends a couple times, but I was with her some of the time, and really enjoyed the time we got to be together! So then we went to a different children's home (one we hadn't been to yet) to pick up a couple more kids. While we were there we ate lunch (we had also packed 40 "happy meals"; one for each child. [they each had a ham sandwich, an apple, chips, and a cupcake] So, we had made them up earlier at breakfast while we were making our lunch. It took a while to make them all, but it was fun, and well worth it.) While we were at this home, I got out some bracelets that I had made (I had about 20), cause I wanted to give one to a girl (who had given me her headband, which was soo sweet!). But when I got them out, suddenly I was surrounded by kids! I was like agh! I don't have that many bracelets. But, I think most of the kids that wanted one got one, soo.... that was good. But it was so funny! It was like, I get out the bracelets, and all of the sudden you think you have become a huge magnet or something! :) Anyways, then we got on the bus (we got to ride with our buddies), and headed to the park. It was a HUGE park. Literally, it was sooo big. A couple of the kids played kickball, while others did sidewalk chalk, some painted their nails, some did bubbles, some painted/drew, some played soccer, some just hung out and had fun, some did skateboarding, some of the kids chased ducks, and other stuff, as well. Then, we all went to a different area of the park, where you could rent bikes. We had to wait for a while, since it opened at 4 instead of 3 (like they thought), but then we went for a bike ride. You could go anywhere you wanted, you just had to be back by a certain time. I started out riding with my buddy, but then she got going really fast (and I was watching out for another little guy who's chain kept falling off), and I never saw her again that day! I was so sad that I didn't get to say goodbye, but I have hopes of one day seeing her again! :) So, then we went back to where we originally were to collect all our stuff, and say goodbye. That was the toughest part, because I knew we were saying goodbye for the last time, and weren't going to see them again (any time soon, anyways)! One of the girls, Leslie, and her friend (who I'm not sure her name, but I want to find it out), hugged us over and over saying "God bless you, God bless you" (she could speak a little bit of English). When my sister, Susanna gave her some of the bracelets she had made (she didn't really have a chance to give any out, so she gave them to Leslie, and told her to give them out to anyone who wanted them), she was so happy! She again, hugged us over and over, saying "God bless you, I love you forever! You guys are my new best friends! I miss you forever!" It was all I could do to keep from crying! It was so heartbreaking! :'( When we got on the bus, our Youth Pastor told us to take some time, and just pray for the kids, our buddies. At that point, I was crying. Later that night, after dinner, we had Back2Back market shopping. (Lonnie's wife, and some other people go out and buy things from different places, and then sell it on the campus, so we can have souveneirs). We didn't get as much as we would have liked (cause we didn't bring enough money), but we did get something for everyone in our family, which was good (and they all loved it)! :) The last night there, was the normal routine, although before going to bed, I tried to do some packing, since I knew we would be leaving early the next morning. 

Friday morning was our last breakfast, some pictures, very sad goodbyes, and heading to the airport on the bus. The rest of the day was just flying, heading home. The first flight was good, but when we were in Dallas, we had to go through all the security again, which means we had to wait in line (and it was a very long line). Time kept ticking, and it was getting so close to our flight's departure time, and we were still in line. The time was already passed when we were going through security (and at this point we are all hoping and praying that we wouldn't miss our flight, and have to camp out in the airport or something). One of the teen guys from our group ran ahead though, and I think saved us all. He asked the lady if they could wait a couple minutes, cause he had a group of 20 coming. They called the plane and asked, and they were very hesitant, but finally gave in, and said okay, we'll wait-but only 5 minutes. Yes! Praise the Lord for that! I was so thankful! :) (now those of us who were on the plane were happy, but praying for everyone else to make it in time). We all were able to get on the plane in time (although it was just barely), and settled back for the long ride home. We arrived in Boston at around 8:00pm, gathered out belongings, and got on the bus for the ride back to the Church where our parents were to pick us up!

So, that's pretty much it! I'm sure there are tons of other little stories that I could tell you, and if I ever think of one, I will definitely let you know! Anyways, I think what struck me the most while we were down there, was just how joyful and giving the children were, even in the situations they are in. They have practically nothing, yet they give so much! And they are so happy (not that every kid is happy all the time, but I'm sure you know what I mean). It just really hit me hard. We have so much, and yet we are so selfish! We are always wanting more, and never wanting to give up anything for someone else. It's really quite sad. Anyways, I wrote the story about me getting to go to Mexico, and how I thought the Lord might be calling me to work with Orphans on here a little while ago (and if you haven't heard it, you can go and read it http://www.setapartgirl4christ2.blogspot.com/2012/02/missions-trip-to-mexico.html"Here ). Well, I really believe I got my answer while we were down there. I believe with all my heart that He wants me to work with orphans in some way or another... So, I believe His answer was yes! And, although I can't be 100% sure yet, where it will be, I believe I may have something to do with Back2Back in my future. I honestly can see myself living there and working down there (but, of course, it's nothing about me, and all about my Saviour and what He wants from me)! 

But, I'm just so happy!! ♥ I cannot explain the passion I have for orphans, and how much I miss Mexico, and working with the kids each day. It was just such an amazing experience, that I think everyone should take advantage of, if they are able of course, in their lifetime. And even though I'm writing all this to you, and you get a glimpse of what it was like.... It really just doesn't compare. You really need to do it yourself to fully grasp what it's like! :) 

The week after coming back was difficult for me, I think for many reasons. For one, I think you expect a huge change in your life or something, and that's not really how it goes... It takes time. Change just doesn't happen overnight. I also think it was hard, because of the situation in regards to my family. Coming back to a family that is broken and falling apart was very hard, especially after coming back from a time, where you practically were with all your teammates the whole time, and they were like family to you. A lot of different emotions were packed into that week, but it's past now, and there are new struggles and emotions every day, but I am trying to have a joyful attitude, knowing God is right here with me. :)

So there ya are, I hope you all enjoyed reading it! Have a great day! :)

Love In Christ, Karissa

P.S. 

I just wanted to let you all know about an awesome giveaway over at the Duggar's blog. (http://duggarsblog.blogspot.com/2012/06/giveaway-prize-your-choice.html"Here ) If you are chosen as a winner you get a choice of what prize you want. You can chose one of these three things: 

1. The Duggars: 20 and Counting (1st book)
2. A Love That Multiplies (2nd Book)
3. $15 Amazon Gift Card

This giveaway is open to anyone and everyone.

So, what are you waiting for? Get on over there and enter! I know I sure am! :)

Psalm 37:4-5

Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.  Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.